The Secret

Agnus Dei

You really have to hand it to these cunts who partake in creating and recording black grind crust hardcore metal. The songs are all normally about two minutes long and have more fury and riffs in them than a banned Mandingo porno filmed at Ozzfest. Plus they probably realise most folk don't want to listen to more than thirty minutes of this shit at the one time. The most considerate bastards in music.

The Secret, Italy's premier purveyors of music your auld granny would rather slash her wrists than listen to, have shat on all of us their new album. It's called 'Agnus Dei' which makes me think of the wee short-arsed hun fud from AC/DC, but I do actually realise its latin for "Lamb of God", which is the name of a shite metal band into manhandling their own fans. It certainly sounds nothing like those pies, this shit is like military standard speed, the kind the US Army gave the marines before they hit Imo Jima.  It's great! So much for that 30 minute tolerance level; I've given the album four goes already today.

The Secret keep our attention always on the music with their frantic brand of metal, their take on everything they love about music. It gets fast at times, others a little bit faster... then really fast. 'Heretic Temple' even finds the band going quite slow. If you are pumping to this, use this track to control your beans. 'Bottomless Pit' sounds as insane as Beecher from Oz; it's fast and wants to slash your throat with its claws. Other album highlights are 'May God damn all of us' and 'Darkness I became', the first an absolute onslaught of riffs and rolls that will snap the necks of black metal fans if they try to h-bang. The latter is a stab mental track overloaded with street-digging bass drums and crust guitars.

I like to imagine this band is actually the guys from Nickelback with sexy skin suits made out of groupies that wanted too much Kroeger. Far too much. Go and buy fuck out of this and imagine Puddle of Mudd draped in hillbilly skin.  

#Albums #Black Metal #Crust #Hardcore #Southern Lord #The Secret #Darkwülf