After waking up with some serious beard envy over the resplendent facial furriness of William Fitzsimmons, I spend the best part of an hour trying my hardest to comb my own beard every which way in an attempt to match his standards. Needless to say, it's a valiant effort but, alas, I fail and head off to Manchester for tonight’s Deaf Institute gig with my beard between my legs....ok, not quite.

Under the skylight windows and the Saturday Night Fever disco ball I stand in waiting for the first act to commence. Surrounded by the whirlpool of circling light refractions I feel a tad…. spaced out…. maybe it's the weed. A quick equipment scan reveals an expo lap steel and a Nord stage piano. Nice.

First up are two-piece outfit Slow Runner. Technically they are both very good musicians; wonderful harmonies yet somehow seem to fail in really grasping my full attention; I seem more interested in the strange bird print wallpaper. They kinda have a Postal Service feel to them but without the great hooks and catchy melody; a little bit basic and a little bit boring. One thing I really seem to notice is how many times singer Michael Flynn uses the words 'heart', 'love', 'birds' and 'ocean'. It makes me feel a little bit weird! A smile makes a quick appearance when he proclaims “This song is about when sex goes horribly wrong!”, although it sounds more like the end-of-level boss music from Sonic the Hedgehog, except with some nice harmonious vocal melodies over the top. Having listened back to a few tracks on Myspaz I think the fact they are a band member short may have something to do with how thin and basic they sound.

In between bands I'm highly entertained by the two guys in front of me having a very detailed exchange about various fringe styling techniques and which hair products they use.StrongBanter….Not.

Fitzsimmons' first song is somewhat drowned out by the hum of a badly earthed jack lead and an strangely quiet guitar, but the mood is instantly lifted with the title track of his last album 'The Tide Pulls from the Moon', for which he is joined on stage by his backing instrumentalists, which just so happen to be his support act Slow Runner. One of my favorites from his last album ‘Beautiful Girl’ almost brings a tear to my eye, maybe because he finally puts the song into context as he tells the audience how it is about a girl with an eating disorder… grim.

“This one's a happy one,” he says, after joking about how melancholic most of his songs are, “It’s a very personal one, the others don’t mean shit to me.” A huge grin appears on his face from behind the mass of beard. “I use a 1:12 ratio, 1 Happy 12 Sad,” he announces, renaming ‘We feel alone’ as “A bunch of animals being killed in front of you.”

So what did we learn tonight from old Will? He has an amazing beard; standard. He is a miserable bugger; aren’t we all? He likes Crunchies and he has a voice like a thousand lullabyes. He is certainly a very emotive chap and has a very captivating persona. Despite this long list of positives, it still feels in some capacity that the night is missing that certain something that makes it more than 'just another gig'. Maybe as a result of the less than average sound on offer, it never quite gets going. Gutted.